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Ironic and Unfortunate Shirts Worn in Mugshots [via]

Ironic and Unfortunate Shirts Worn in Mugshots [via]

grapefruitshampoo: imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane: tephnos: sir...

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you're burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that's suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It's easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don't have to tell your neighbors, "Oh, I'm night gardening!"

Also, if a dog happens across it, it's more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They're a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.

You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn't come up with these ideas, just what I've gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you're at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won't get suspicious. This way you don't have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don't forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they're easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don't judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT'S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

gaysexistheanswer: hungarian: someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone &...

gaysexistheanswer:

hungarian:

someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer

thank you

stephmcquizzle:

elkane: Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto...

elkane:

Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto Titanic in 1912, attends a first class dinner, develops a taste for the finer things in life, pockets the Heart of the Ocean, survives the sinking, pawns the diamond, spends the following ten years building his wealth and in 1922 moves to West Egg as Jay Gatsby… Millionaire with a shady past and fear of swimming pools.

cheerbiio92: ilikerob: tyleroakley: Oh my God. i need to...

cheerbiio92:

ilikerob:

tyleroakley:

Oh my God.

i need to blog this again.

Not Nice

Star Trek: TNG | Season 3 Gag Reel

Star Trek: TNG | Season 3 Gag Reel

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protokol: moves like jagger

protokol:

moves like jagger

officegirls: - Ok, but let's do it fast. My husband's waiting...

officegirls:

- Ok, but let's do it fast. My husband's waiting in the car.

10knotes: This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

10knotes:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

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alphascorpio: sexybitchescum: suchcuriousanimals: mall...

alphascorpio:

sexybitchescum:

suchcuriousanimals:

mall fun!

Mmmm

tuna! yum

dear-melina-count-me-in: duce-juice: cl0thes0ff: don't even...

dear-melina-count-me-in:

duce-juice:

cl0thes0ff:

don't even like paramore but this gif is fucking awesome

I'm sorry but how can you NOT like paramore ?

dat ass

teenytigress: SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR...

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

hurlold: deb-ultimatefangirloftheuniverse: askthemariobros: Nu...

hurlold:

deb-ultimatefangirloftheuniverse:

askthemariobros:

Number one rule of Tumblr:

ALWAYS REBLOG THE DARN CREATOR IF HE IS ON YOUR DASHBOARD.

If you don't, get off Tumblr. Now.

woop woop party time up in here yo.

He looks like that guy off of glee in the wheel chair.

wandering-cynic: i-say-no-to-status-quo: trebaolofarabia: aman...

wandering-cynic:

i-say-no-to-status-quo:

trebaolofarabia:

amanderegg:

rawtranquility:

A flower for you, my lady.

Sloths are what happens when coconuts come alive

That…that is the best descriptions of sloths ever.

what

great every time.